Get a real job

I can always tell when someone thinks I don't have a "real" job. I'm fairly good at judging people by reading how they say certain things and how they react to me. I tend to be more of a quiet person and I think I've just learned really well how to read people. It's always been that way, normally I can sniff out a bad person from a mile away when other people can't see past their fake facade.

But this isn't really a post about that. More so just a laugh at people who think I don't have a real job. People may not say it to my face, but I always know when they think it. When they scoff at my online business and don't or don't care to realize how much work it truly is, and actually how much I do actually make for what I'm selling.

This has happened more than once. I remember a few years back when I was first starting out at my online business full time and someone asked if I had found a job yet, when they knew I was selling online. I didn't let it get to me, seeing as they were working retail, and honestly, I didn't think that was much improvement upon what I was doing anyways. Don't get me wrong, I worked retail in high school, so I do know someone has to do it. But doing what they were doing I doubted they made that much more than me quite honestly, and I'm working for myself.

But then recently, as with a lot of other things that have come to light, someone else implied I didn't have a real job. This was coming from a full-time working mother. I guess what I don't really understand, is why do women turn on one another? It goes both ways, working moms implying that staying home or doing something else is less than stellar, or moms who stay at home saying that working moms are neglecting their vocation.

I never let these things bother me, because I know what I do. I know how hard it is to sew with a 18 month old toddler screaming at my feet because she wants to sit on my lap while I sew and play with all the dials and try to touch the needle. I know how hard it is to try to update my website because a certain 18 month old toddler keeps trying to steal the "button" (the red mouse button in the middle of a laptop keyboard) off my laptop and hide it somewhere where I'll never find it, and when I tell her NO, she pinches my cheek in frustration (a new technique learned from another toddler her age, thank you very much!). Or, how about the times I have international packages that I can't get picked up at my doorstep so I have to go into the post office? How easy is it to carry 4 or 5 packages (because I try to do multiple packages in one trip) while carrying a toddler and trying to prevent her from running away while I fill out the customs forms?

See, I wake up when Annamarie wakes up (a blessed 8 am if I allow her to sleep in the bed with me) and from that time until she goes to bed (a lousy 9:30pm right now since she's pushing bed time) I am working. I'm working as a mom, changing diapers, feeding breakfast/snacks/lunch, making dinner, comforting her when she hurts herself, trying to prevent her from hurting herself since she gets into everything, helping her go down for a nap since she's also resisting those right now, reading her stories, playing with her, and keeping her entertained and happy.

But, on top of that I am also working as a self-employed individual. While doing all my mom duties I also have to answer emails (I get multiples a day), write down my orders I am going to do that day (always at least 5), make the orders (sew, drill toys, cut out fabric etc), package orders to ship (put in boxes, weigh, put labels on), do customer service for people who think I'm Walmart and should have their order shipped the next day, update my website to put things out of stock or add new items, research new items to put on the site, research new things I want to make, the list goes on!

There are truly times I think it would be easier in some regards to be a working out of home mom. I would not have a monkey on my back the whole time I am trying to work, making it nearly impossible to finish one item in a reasonable time frame. I would get a break. As horrible as that sounds, it is true and SAHMs would understand. I do not get a break. Going somewhere other than home to work is a break. It's a break from working two jobs at once.

However this is not a debate. I do also respect those moms who do work out of home. It's a sacrifice for many women who would love to stay home but can't afford to do so. Or maybe they just love their job so much, and I respect that too. Everyone does what is best for their family.

But when someone implies that I don't have a "real" job, I just laugh. They obviously don't, or don't care to know what I all do in a workday.

This is partly why I'm renaming my blog. Sequins And Scribbles. It's the story of my life right now. Sequins because I love to sew and love all things glitter and Scribbles because I do have a toddler, who if given the chance would draw all over everything in site. But at the same time it's Sequins and Scribbles because that's what my life is. Shiny and happy for the blessing to get to stay home with my daughter and raise her while working but at the same time a mess and incoherent at times because I am so frustrated with my lack of "me" time and how hard it truly is to do two jobs at once.

There never is one side to the story. You may think I don't do a real job but then I think you wouldn't understand what I'm doing in my home. The hugest blessing of raising my daughter to be the best person she can be and helping her flourish and also the hugest hurdle of trying to run a business while chasing after this outspoken and flourishing girl.